there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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