Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
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