Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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