Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
