Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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