im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
