Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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