Say something about gay babies.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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