Are we in a gay sports bar?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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