so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
