gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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