1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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