yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
where are you?
Hypothermia
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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