this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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