i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
