Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
