Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
