she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
