You're like the curious george of whores
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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