the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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