Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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