Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
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he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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