He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
