the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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