Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
