you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
