dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize