i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
