We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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