so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
