haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My dick has a subreddit
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize