I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
