Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
