You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
