To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
When did angry sex become our thing?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
