at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
