the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize