On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
