3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
