..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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