So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
