Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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