CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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