I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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