whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
