I just threw up on my dentist
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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