So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
