My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
