Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
