you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I touched a dick in church today
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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