It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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