nut hugger
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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