I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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