Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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