I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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