god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
