The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
