guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
