Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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