Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
