The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
