They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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