He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
