The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
