I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
True strength comes from lack of pants
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
