Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
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