you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
