1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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