So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
