They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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