I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
